1.Twinkle
(kinky friedman)
Oh, i didn't write this song for fortunes made of money,
I only came along just to sing it to you, honey.
I've dreamed around the bend, i've looked behind the sky,
I've seen the rainbow's end in the twinkle of an eye.
And until the day our stars all arise
Twinkle, let me shine in your eyes.
In a window from afar it shines in just like a candle,
The shimmer like a star, it's more than i can handle,
To hold you in the night, to show you what i told you,
To go down by candlelight, to light the world before you.
And until the day our stars all arise,
Twinkle, let me shine in your eyes.
And until the day our stars all arise,
Twinkle, let me shine in your eyes,
Twinkle, let me shine in your eyes,
Let me shine in your eyes.
2.Ahab The Arab
(ray stevens)
Let me tell you ＆bout ahab the arab, the sheik of the burning
sand,
He had emeralds and rubies just a-dripping off ＆a him and a ring
on every finger of his hand.
He wore a big old turban wrapped around his head, a scimitar by
his side
And every evening about midnight he'd jump on his camel named
clyde.
And ride silently through the night to the sultan's tent
Where he would secretly meet up with fatima of the seven veils.
She was the swingin'est number one dancer in the sultan's whole
harem.
It was like him and her they had a little adam going, you see,
Behind the old bugger's back.
And you could hear him talking to his camel
And as he rode out across the dunes past the oil wells
His voice would cut through the still night desert air
And he'd say, maaaaaaa oyy oyy oyy !!!§
Which is arabic for oh, baby ...§
And clyde would say, yewrah raaaoww uh uh uh uh uh!§
Well, he brought his camel to a screeching halt at the rear of
fatima's tent,
Jumped off clyde, snuck around the corner and into the tent he
went.
There he saw fatima laying on a, on a zebra skin rug,
With rings on her fingers, bells on her toes and a bone in her
nose, eeeeyye.
There she was friends and neighbors, laying there in all her
radiant beauty,
She was eating on a raisin, had a grape, and an apricot, and a
pomegranate,
A bowl of chitterlings, two bananas, three hershey bars, four
burritos,
Sipping on a frozen margarita, listening to a transistor radio,
Watching the grand ole opry, reading rolling stone magazine and
singing rocky mountain high.
And ahab walked up to her and he said,
yeeeiiaaaahowowhidehowdihi!§
Which is arabic for, let's boogie again like we did last
summer, baby.§
And she said, oh, ahab, ah ha uh, ahab.§ crazy, baby.§
And that's the story about ahab the arab, the sheik of the
burning sand,
He had emeralds and rubies just a-dripping off ＆a him and a ring
on every finger of his hand.
He wore a big old turban wrapped around his head, a scimitar by
his side,
And every evening about midnight he'd jump on his camel named
clyde ...
3.Dear Abbie
(kinky friedman)
From a friend of yours in texas
Who's had a little trouble finding love.
I'm considered quite attractive
And i've always been quite active at the club.
But the life i lead's so lonesome
That i wonder, abbie, if you've ever known
What it's like to live in others' dreams
And never have a dream to call your own.
There's a divorcee in dallas,
There's a girl who's much too young in idaho.
London bridge is falling down
And the clergyman is out of town
And there's a daughter no one wants in buffalo.
And i'm wondering ＆bout america,
Wondering if we lost more than the war.
I'm just wondering if there's any silver lining left
Behind the golden door.
And dear abbie, abbie i just had to write.
Dear abbie, abbie is there any love in sight ？
Well, the last time that i saw you
You were living at the old chelsea hotel.
Even though it's been a while, hell
Even now it makes me smile
To think of how you tennis-shoed the bill.
And it seems like only yesterday
You fell off of the sea-saw and you cried
And your daddy lit the fireworks
In the backyard on the fourth day of july.
And dear abbie, abbie i just had to write,
Dear abbie, abbie, where are you tonight ？
4.Kinky
(ronnie hawkins)
I had me a wearied dream, seen me a wearied scene,
When i seen what i saw, couldn't sit still,
Nero was kissing on buffalo bill.
Let it roll, let it roll, let it roll one time for me.
When it gets too kinky for the rest of the world
It's getting just right for me.
There was rhinestone whips and midgets,
Quasimodo was jerking in hard.
I seen a tribe of pygmies doing their thing
Riding in on saint-bernards.
Let it roll, let it roll, let it roll one time for me.
When it gets too kinky for the rest of the world
It's getting just right for me.
Whew!
There was shetland ponies and bulldogs,
Jockstraps and cowboy boots,
Forty-seven miles of tennis shoe tongue
And thirteen pair of shoes.
Let it roll, let it roll, let it roll one time for me.
When it gets too kinky for the rest of the world
It's getting just right for me.
Let it roll!
Let it roll, let it roll, let it roll one time for me.
When it gets too kinky for the rest of the world
It's getting just right for me.
5.Lady Yesterday
(kinky friedman)
If i made a wish for every sacred star
Falling just outside of heaven's window,
If i had the songs from david's old guitar
And the dreams i've left behind me on my pillow
And if i gave them all to you,
If i took the fall for you
Could you make it spring ？
Lady yesterday,
You smiled just like a lover and a friend.
Lady yesterday,
You danced like it was yesterday again.
They say that love's a paper boat upon the sea,
They say that love is a reflection on the river.
They say that love's a thing that's never meant to be,
They say that love's a thing that's meant to be forever.
And if i gave it all to you,
If i took the fall for you,
Could you make it spring ？
Lady yesterday,
You smiled just like a lover and a friend.
Lady yesterday,
You danced like it was yesterday again.
Hmm, hmm, hmm ...
Hmm, hmm, hmm ...
Hmm, hmm, hmm ...
Hmm, hmm, hmm ...
And if i gave it all to you,
If i took the fall for you,
Could you make it spring ？
Lady yesterday,
You smiled just like a lover and a friend,
Lady yesterday,
You danced like it was yesterday again.
6.Catfish
(bob dylan, jacques levy)
Lazy stadium night,
Catfish on the mound.
strike three,§ the umpire said,
Batter have to go back and sit down.
Catfish, million dollar man.
Nobody can throw the ball like catfish can.
Used to work on mr. finley's farm
But the old man would not pay.
So he packed his glove and took his arm
And one day he just ran away.
Catfish, million dollar man.
Nobody can throw that ball like catfish can.
Way up where the yankees are
Smoke a custom made cigar.
Catfish, million dollar man.
Nobody can throw that ball like catfish can.
Reggie jackson at the plate
Seeing nothing but the curve.
Swing too early or too late,
Got to eat what catfish serve.
Catfish, million dollar man.
Nobody can throw the ball like catfish can.
7.Men's Room, L.a.
(buck fowler)
I saw a picture yesterday
In a men's room near l.a.
Lying on the floor beside the throne.
Had i not recognized the cross
I might have failed to know the boss,
I thought, lord, you look neglected and alone.§
I picked it up with lovin' care,
I wondered who had placed it there,
When l saw there was no paper on the roll.
I said, lord, what would you do
If you were me and i was you,
Take a chance, save your pants or your soul ？§
Then a voice said,
kinky, it's jesus here, you know that i ain't no square.
Well, i've got these pictures of me,
I mean statues, you know they're everywhere.
Well, i may seem i come from liverpool,
And then on the other hand i may come from france,
But if you don't get off that toilet, well i'm just gonna have
to dance.§
I saw a picture yesterday in a men's room near l.a.
8.Bananas And Cream
(kinky friedman)
Well, a long time ago in old tokyo
By the softly flowing stream
I left her there with the stars in her hair
On the other side of a dream.
Well, i traveled through with a heart full of blue
Never quite making my way
Till i come upon a strawberry blonde
Living in pittsburgh, p.a.
Ah, bananas and rice they used to be nice
On the other side of a dream.
Oh, bananas and rice they used to be nice
But now it's bananas an cream.
I stood hypnotized, i stared in her eyes,
She smiled and i suddenly knew
If i made her my bride then the other side
0f my dream would finally come true.
Ah, bananas and rice they used to be nice
On the other side of a dream.
Oh, oh, bananas and rice they used to be nice
But now it's bananas and cream.
Well, a long time ago in old tokyo
By the softly flowing stream
I left her there with the stars in her hair
On the other side of a dream.
Ah, bananas and rice they used to be nice
On the other side of a dream.
Oh, bananas and rice they used to be nice
But now it's bananas and cream.
Bananas and rice used to be nice
On the other side of a dream.
Oh, oh, bananas and rice they used to be nice
But now it's bananas and cream.
Bananas and rice used to be nice
On the other side of a dream.
Bananas and rice ...
9.Ol' Ben Lucas
(kinky friedman)
Ol' ben lucas had a lot of mucus
Comin' right out of his nose.
He picked and picked till it made you sick
But back again it grows.
Well, ol' ben lucas had a lot of mucus
Comin' right out of his nose.
He picked and picked till it made you sick,
But back again it grows.
When it's cotton picking time in texas,
Boys, it's booger picking time for ben.
He'd raise that finger mean and hostile
Stick it in that waitin' nostril,
Here he comes with a green one once again.
All right, pick it, eric!
Ol' ben lucas had a lot of mucus
Comin' right out of his nose.
He picked and picked till it made you sick,
But back again it grows.
Everybody!
Ol' ben lucas had a lot of mucus
Comin' right out of his nose,
He picked and picked till it made you sick
But back again it grows.
10.The Ballad Of Ira Hayes
(peter lafarge)
Gather round me people and a story i will tell
＆bout a brave young indian lad, you should remember well,
From a tribe of pima indians, a proud and peaceful band
Who farmed the phoenix valley out in arizona land.
Down their ditches for a thousand years the sparkling water
rushed
Till the white man stole the water rights and the running water
hushed.
Ira's folks was hungry, their fields grew thick with weeds,
But when war came ira volunteered and forgot the white man's
greed.
Call him drunken ira hayes, he won't answer anymore,
Not that whiskey drinking indian or marine who went to war.
Well, they battled up iwo jima hill, two hundred and fifty men
But only twenty-seven lived to walk back down again.
And after the fight was over and old glory proudly raised,
Among the men who held her high was an indian, ira hayes.
Call him drunken ira hayes, he won't answer anymore,
Not that whiskey drinking indian or marine who went to war.
Well, ira hayes returned a hero, celebrated throughout the land,
He was wined and speeched and honored, everybody shook his hand.
But he's just a pima indian, no food, no friend, no chance,
And nobody cared what ira did and when do the indians dance.
Well, ira took to drinking hard, jail often was his home,
They used to let him raise the flag there and lower it just like
you'd throw a dog a bone.
And ira died drunk early one morning all alone in the land he'd
fought to save.
Two inches of water in a lonely ditch was the grave for ira
hayes.
Call him drunken ira hayes, he won't answer anymore,
Not that whiskey drinking indian or marine who went to war.
Yeah, call him drunken ira hayes, but his land is till as dry
And his ghost, well, that's lying thirsty in the ditch where ira
died.
Call him drunken ira hayes, he won't answer anymore,
Not that whiskey drinking indian or marine who went to war.
11.Waitret, Please, Waitret
(kinky friedman, major boles, roscoe west)
Well, i pulled into dallat on a cold december day
Bought coffee and a doughnut at the greasy spoon caf？
Spied me a pretty young waitret standing by her tray,
But she couldn't believe her sweet young ears when the waitret
heard me say：
Oh, waitret, please, waitret, come sit down on my fate,
Eatin' ain't cheatin', lord it ain't no disgrace.
Oh, bring me a lone star, make it a case
And waitret, please, waitret, come sit down on my fate.
Well, i walked up to the jukebox feeling kind of mean,
The waitret said, hey, stupid, that's a cigarette machine!§
well, look-a here, young waitret, would you care to make a bet,
And if that there ain't a jukebox, you can smoke my cigarette!§
Oh, waitret, please, waitret, come sit down on my fate,
Eatin' ain't cheatin', lord it ain't no disgrace.
Oh, bring me a lone star, make it a case
And waitret, please, waitret, come sit down on my fate.
You're the prettiest thing in dallat, is dallat your home ？
No, i come all the way from houton and i feel so all alone.
I used to live in autin then i come up to big d
In hopes to get my big break on national tv.
Honey, i think i have what it takes to make you a star but
first ...
Oh, waitret, please, waitret, come sit down on my fate,
Eatin' ain't cheatin', lord it ain't no disgrace.
Oh, bring me a lone star, make it a case
And waitret, please, waitret, come sit down on my fate.
12.Sold American
(kinky friedman)
Faded jaded falling cowboy star,
Pawnshops itching for your old guitar.
Where you're going, god only knows,
The sequins have fallen from your clothes.
Once you heard the opry crowd applaud,
Now you're hanging out at fourth and broad
On the rain wet sidewalk remembering the time
When coffee with a friend was still a dime.
And everything's been sold american,
The early times is finished and the want ads all are read.
Everyone's been sold american
In dreaming dreams in a rollaway bed.
Writing down your memoirs on some window in the frost,
Roulette eyes reflecting another morning lost.
Hauled in by the metro for killing time and pain
With a singing brakeman screaming through your veins.
And everything's been sold american,
The lonely night is mourning for the death it never dies.
Everyone's been sold american
Don't let me catch you laughing when the jukebox cries.
You told me you were born so much higher than life,
But i've seen the faded pictures of your children and your wife.
Now they're fumbling through your wallet and they're trying to
find your name,
It's almost like they raise the price of fame.
And everything's been sold american,
No place to go and brother, no place to stay.
Everyone's been sold american
Just let that golden greyhound roll your soul away.
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